Logan

Just over two years ago, a friend and former co-worker of mine from BYU lost his three year old son to cancer. Afton was, at the time, about 6 months old. I found about the cancer a few months after they discovered it, courtesy of his blog. I don't visit his blog often, and I had a new daughter, so the next time I visited the site was after his son had died. I remember, at the time, thinking about how difficult it must be for him and his family, and wondering if I could handle such a loss.

Now I know.

Yes, it is very hard. It's hard for me to choose and type these words, just because of the emotions they bring up, so I am pondering over each one.

While I miss Logan, most of the time, the pain and loss are gone, and I can now function as a normal human again. The emotional changes I've experienced are amazing to me. I often characterize myself as having "the emotional range of a teacup", and yes, I stole that quote. However, I know that for the first few days after his death, I wasn't functioning normally. I shaved each morning because I knew that I should. I showered, changed clothes, and ate because I knew I must. I functioned based on one thing: I knew that I needed to. Thankfully, Tracy has been here for me, and I feel that the Savior has lifted the pain of this separation from me. I only truly feel the burden of when I must contemplate it, like now. Often, I feel the joy of knowing that I will be with him again, and be able to do all the things I planned to do with him, like rock climbing.

Perhaps I'll post the full details in the future. Most likely, I won't.

To Logan, I miss you.

To Tom, I understand, in more depth than I had anticipated, how you feel.

Logan Matthew Scoresby, infant son of Joseph and Tracy Manwarren Scoresby, passed away September 1st, 2010 at the Prince William Hospital.
Survivors include his parents of Manassas; one sister, Afton Michelle Scoresby, also of Manassas; maternal grandparents, Marshall and Michele Manwarren of Danbury, Texas; paternal grandparents, Rene and Margaret Scoresby of Kronenwetter, Wis.; four uncles, six aunts and numerous cousins.

The family will receive friends on Sunday, September 5th, 2010 from 6 to 8 p.m. at the Baker-Post Funeral Home & Cremation Center, 10001 Nokesville Road, Manassas. Funeral Services will be held on Monday, September 6th, 2010 at 10 a.m. at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, 8001 Barrett Dr, Manassas, VA 20109.Private interment will take place on Tuesday, September 7th, 2010.

Tribute to Logan

His smile could always brighten up your day
He liked to explore and find whatever he could on the floor
He liked to grab my hair
He liked to eat a lot
He liked to roll his way around in order to get where he was going
He liked to sleep with his blanky over his head
He liked to be held
He liked to play peek a boo
He liked Cocoa
He liked to laugh with Afton
He liked to smile
He liked to play with his feet
He made me laugh
He makes me cry

Afton loves her cousins.
She also loves the camera.