Conversation with Afton

So we are driving to swim practice, and our conversation goes like this.

Afton: Mom, when I'm 65, how old will you be?
Me: Well, Afton, when your 65, I'll be dead. (or hopefully)
Afton: (bursts into tears) I don't want you to die! You're the best mom ever!


And then my heart melted. Its moments like these that really get to me and make everything worth it.

It took me a couple of minutes to calm her down and then we then started talking about what being an eternal family meant and blessings of the temple. I don't know why but it seems that most of our gospel conversations start when we are driving somewhere and I only have a few minutes to teach. But you take what you can get, right?

I feel really blessed and lucky to have such a wonderful family. I am thankful for the temple. It is the one place where I can go and be closest to Logan, and for that I will always be grateful. 

My Baby's Got Moves...

Oops.

Looks like we haven't posted since Christmas.  Wow, I'm getting really bad at this.

Okay, new goal.  Post at least once per month.

What can I talk about this month?

Well, I am in Johannesburg right now.  Too bad my clothes aren't.
Pictures are here on Facebook.

I'm working on getting a special project for the company up and running.  The problem is that we have to liase with two different division of the parent company to do my part of this, then a third division when I'm done, and we do things very, very differently than they do.  On the other hand, we appear to be much more organized than they are.  I'm ready to scream my head off at the 'project manager' here in Johannesburg.

Christmas 2012

This Christmas I've been more reflective than usual. Christmas has been an emotional roller-coaster  for me ever since Logan died. I love being able to watch the children's eyes light up with joy, waiting with anticipation for Christmas morning. On the other hand, I miss Logan a lot and wish I could see that same joy in his eyes.  I love singing Christmas hymns, and it was that in which had me reflecting my feelings and emotions of late. I've realized that I have hardened my heart against spiritual experiences, kind of as a self preservation mechanism. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense, but there you have it. I've realized that I feared being the type of person I was before Logan died-reading my scriptures and praying daily, listening to and being receptive to the spirit. I wasn't perfect by any means, but I was doing the things I was supposed to be doing. My fear was based on that if I was to be that type of person again, God would throw me another huge trial and that trial would completely break me. I don't  think I could survive it a second time.  I realized that I had stopped putting my trust in God and in His mercy and love.

And then I would go to church and we would sing Christmas songs about the joyous occasion of Jesus' birth. The songs touched my soul and I actually felt my heart softening.  Its funny because I have never realized that I had hardened it.  It kind of made me think of Laman and Lemuel- I feel like I understand them a little more and wonder if maybe I'm like them a little bit. I mean, throw me a trial and what do I do, harden my heart, murmur, etc. Anyways, I was reminded of the love our Savior has for each of us. I remembered that He knows exactly what I am going through and has actually suffered much worse. And I know that he suffered much worse because of the love He feels for me and for everyone.

So now, I have the desire to change and be more like the person I used to be and that's a good place to start. I am thankful for the blessings I have-for my family and friends. I'm thankful that I am able to be a mother to my children, even when they drive me crazy. :) I'm especially thankful for my Savior-for being able to feel His love although I was not in necessarily a good place.

We did have a great Christmas. It was fun and relaxing. We enjoyed Christmas Eve dinner with the Haywards and read about the birth of Jesus from the bible. We then woke up Christmas morning to the sound of Afton saying, " I think Santa came! Lets go check!!" She was so excited. We opened presents, ate a yummy breakfast of bacon and eggs, talked with family, and just enjoyed each other's company.

 We got a little snow Christmas day and the day after Christmas-maybe an eighth of an inch, if we were lucky. In fact, it didn't even stick on Christmas, but Afton had a blast playing in it and catching snowflakes on her tongue.

 Afton had a lot of fun opening presents. Tanner liked playing with the toys, but got really mad when we would take them away so that he could open another gift. It was pretty funny. It was so much fun seeing their excitement for Christmas morning.

 This is the awesome house Afton got for Christmas from Grandma and Grandpa. It has been a hit in our house with both kids. It so dang cute! Thanks Grandma and Grandpa!  ...and Joanna.

 These are the awesome boots I got for Christmas. I know I'm styl'n!

 Not sure if you can see the toe shoes...perfect for my toe socks!

 Afton in her pretty dress holding her purse. She is such a girlie girl. I don't know where she got it from? Joe??

Goodwill to Men

“We are all under the obligation of making this world a happier place for our having lived in it,”

 (As a warning, I'm not going to cite all of my quotes for this post, but you can assume that unless otherwise stated, they'll all be from here: Righteous Living in Perilous Times. 

I taught the Elder's Quorum lesson on Sunday.  It was the lesson linked to above.  I felt that I had a bit of an obligation to teach a good lesson this week, both since it's my last lesson of the year, the season, and due to the events around us. I dug in, and I think I actually learned something!

Since the Newport shooting, I've heard about an hour of news radio everyday that has focused on it. There are various things people have mentioned, but I'll point out two:

WTOP had, on Friday afternoon, a 'positive psychologist' speak, and they have been quoting here ever since.  She pointed out that trauma can be a growing experience, if you allow it to be.  I kind of laughed and said to my self, "no kidding!"  That is, in many ways, the main thrust of the Gospel plan.  We are not here to cruise through life and head back; we are here to be tried, and tried as strongly as we can be.  Growth comes through effort.  It is impossible to grow muscle without exercise.  The US tried, during World War II.  Nothing worked except exertion.  That principle applies to spiritual muscle as well.  Christ suffered so he can save us (Doc. & Cov. 19:16).  To quote a song I linked to earlier this year, "O Savior thy sure forgiveness Was born in thy pain and grief."  As we are commanded to follow Him in all things, we should consider the possibility of using our suffering to both come nearer to Him through an understanding of His efforts on our behalf and using what pain we feel to help others as He helped us.

Second, since the shootings, people have been clamoring for new efforts, new laws, to prevent this sort of thing from happening, ranging from better mental health screening and awareness to gun control and assault weapon bans.  I saw an article calling guns America's Moloch.  What nobody has echoed is the message that a Prophet, President George Albert Smith said in December of 1949:

But by following the teachings of the Lord, by turning unto him and repenting of sin, by going about doing good, we may have peace and happiness and prosperity. If mankind will love one another, the hatred and the unkindness that have existed so much in the world will pass away.

  What is this? The solution to all of the atrocities of our times is contained in four letters. L-O-V-E. People will mock this; it's the kind of thing a children's author would put in a book about teenage wizards. The more I think about this, though, there is no other solution that so gracefully and thoroughly resolves the strife of our days. Laws and governments cannot change the hearts of men; the most they can do is to attempt to take away the choice to do evil, and therefore 'create' goodness.  There is only One who can change our hearts, and His method is love. 

Those who follow Christ have been taught that they should "love their enemies and pray for them which spitefully use [them]". He commanded his disciples to follow him. Christ, though Creator of the Earth, was willing to be tried by apostates who had broken the covenant that their people had made with Him centuries before, meekly scourged, brought to trial before the 'heathen' empire that had conquered the people He was rightly the earthly ruler of.  At no point did the Savior invoke the law of the Old Testament (that He issued) and claim 'an eye for an eye'.  Instead, he prayed for the forgiveness of those involved.  We sing that "The very foes who slay thee Have access to thy grace."

Instead of going about our day striving to not upset those who we may fear, avoiding people who might hate us for who we are or what we do, we need to step forward to make a difference in this world.  We need to follow the example of Jesus Christ, and serve and love those who hate us until they become our friends.  The parable of the Good Samaritan ends with the namesake walking away from the inn where the victim is being tended for, but what happened to the Jew who he saved.  I suspect that he did not have much, if any, prejudice left against the Samaritans after that.

If "The only way to peace for this world is the pathway of the Gospel of Jesus Christ our Lord,"  we, as members of His church, are the ones who are responsible for spreading that peace to the world.

It is our duty to set the example; it is our duty to hold aloft the banner of truth. It is our duty to encourage our Father’s other children to listen to his advice and counsel and so adjust things that wherever we are we will find the spirit of God burning in our souls and our influence will be for good .

 The Savior left his Peace to His disciples.  If we want to find peace in our lives, we need to seek for that peace, and the only way is to follow the path that Jesus taught.  Men run to and fro seeking it, but the path has been in front of us ever since God first spoke to Adam.  Love God, love thy neighbor, and everything else will fall into place.

Texas Trip

Highlights of our Texas trip visiting my family

-Going to the beach. The water was actually really clear, clean and warm; usually the water is pretty gross. Afton loved chasing the waves and trying to swim in 1 in of water. It was awesome. Tanner loved eating the sand- nothing comes between him and his stomach.

Afton and her cousins, Mary Jane and Lyla, and her Aunt Becca

-My nephews double-dog dared me to crack an egg on my brother's head. Seriously, give me something hard to do. Lets just say I got the favorite aunt of the night award and my brother is still talking to me, to boot. :) It was awesome.

-Hanging with family. Its been a really long time since I've seen all of my family. It was great! Afton loved playing with her cousins. Tanner loved all the extra attention and spoilation of being the baby of the family.

- Afton loved feeding and playing with the chickens. She especially liked collecting the eggs. We also saw a frog and she screamed like a little girl when her cousin, Mary Jane tried to get her to hold it. Hilarious!

I have more pics, but I have to find them first so oh well. It was great time.

Work Travel

So, I've been travelling a lot for work recently.  In the past year, I've been to Amsterdam (twice), Sydney, Atlanta, Salt Lake City, and my most recent trip: Johannesburg, South Africa!


While I will admit some of it was fun (Sydney), I don't recommend spending large amounts of time in airplanes as a career decision, even if you are the one flying the plane.  I was soooo bored.

Anyway, pictures from Jo'Burg: