Mad Science Merit Badges

The Order of the the Science Scouts of Exemplary Repute and Above Average Physique has put together a list of merit badges for science. (Un?) Surprisingly, I've actually earned several of them. Namely, those pertaining to fire and electricity. Various members of the family qualify for several others, including some involving genetic modifications and others that require animal UI gloves.

Don't tell me they aren't real, either.

My badges:

• The “talking science” badge: Required for all members. Assumes the recipient conducts himself/herself in such a manner as to talk science whenever he/she gets the chance. Not easily fazed by looks of disinterest from friends or the act of “zoning out” by well intentioned loved ones.
• The “MacGyver” badge: In which the recipient has demonstrated that his/her science communciation prowess was handy in simplifying a potentially challenging scenario. For example, was able to escape from unjustified prison term, with the clever use of a paper clip and WD-40. You know, that kind of thing.
• The “arts and crafts” badge: Because you can’t have a bunch of badges without an arts and crafts badge. This one assumes the recipient has all manner of “craftiness” with a sciencegeek twist
• The “my experience inadvertantly makes me competent in fixing household appliances” badge: Not necessarily a good thing.
• The “I left the respectable sciences to pursue humanistic studies of the sciences” badge" In which the recipient is now probably having a lot more fun than he/she did before.
• The “has frozen stuff just to see what happens” badge (LEVEL I): In which the recipient has frozen something in the freezer for the sake of scientific curiosity.
• The “experienced with electrical shock” badge (LEVEL I): In which the recipient has had experience with the electrical shocking of an organism.
• The “experienced with electrical shock” badge (LEVEL II): In which the recipient has had experience with the electrical shocking of a human.
• The “experienced with electrical shock” badge (LEVEL III): In which the recipient has had experience with the electrical shocking of himself/herself.
• The “totally digs highly exothermic reactions” badge: Might be best to keep an eye on such recipients.
• The “I’m into telescopes astro” badge (LEVEL I): In which the recipient has used a telescope to view celestial objects.
• The “I’ve set fire to stuff” badge (LEVEL I): In which the recipient has set fire to stuff, all in the name of general scientific curiosity.
• The “I’ve set fire to stuff” badge (LEVEL II): In which the recipient has set fire to stuff, while fully aware of all combustion principles at play.